Fairy Tales or Damaged whichever you perfer
by prophecy-girl3
Summary: A song fic. Buffy's POV, she thinks about fairy tales and what they mean to her. Please R


Disclaimer: All characters belong to the Almighty Joss. The song is called "Damaged" and it's by Plumb.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: Buffy's POV she reflects on fairy tales and what they mean for her.  
  
When I was little I use to sit and wait for my prince to come. I dreamed he would come on the brightest day on his big white horse and sweep me of my feet. After all my mother told me stories of princesses and their knights. Daddy would call me his princess so wasn't I entitled to a brave knight. The answer to that is No I was entitled to losing my dreams and facing darkness.  
  
Dreaming comes so easily  
  
Cause it's all that I've known  
  
True love is a fairytale  
  
I'm damaged, so how would I know?  
  
So when I turned 15 the dream was crushed. Suddenly I had lost my friends and was forced to fight creatures of the night. I found out that fairy tale was a lie or at least for me it was. So I fought for my life because part of me still believed the fairy tale was possibly but as I fought and lost friends, my first watcher and even my once fairy tale family. After that I gave up. I Buffy Summers The Vampire Slayer quit. It wouldn't be the last time.  
  
I'm scared and I'm alone  
  
I'm shamed and I need for you to know  
  
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say  
  
And you can't take back what you've taken away  
  
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me  
  
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say  
  
And you can't take back what you've taken away  
  
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me  
  
I moved to Sunnydale with my Mom, the once upon a time princess. I met Giles, Xander, and Willow and I decided to embrace my calling once again for them. To protect them and my fairy tale. We fought hard, strong and most importantly together. That's when I met Angel. Oh! Goddess Angel! He was my knight, virtuous, true, and loved me with all of his soul. But I guess that's impossible, because he ended up losing his soul. My once true knight became the very thing I wanted him to save me from. Darkness. My hopes for the fairy tale were once again cracked.  
  
Healing comes so painfully  
  
And it chills to the bone  
  
Won't let anyone get close to me  
  
I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know  
  
You would think after this I would give up, but I just had to have it. So I slowly healed myself or that's how I made it seem to everyone who was around me. I moved on I mean if I couldn't have the true knight I would have the next best thing the reliable one, who would always be there. Riley. He was there when I needed him, I claimed I loved him but I kept him at arms length so I wouldn't get hurt again. You could say that I didn't want to destroy what was left of the fairy tale. So I held on until he noticed the cracks in my dream. Then he too the reliable knight the one who would always be there, left.  
  
I'm scared and I'm alone  
  
I'm shamed and I need for you to know I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say  
  
And you can't take back what you've taken away  
  
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me  
  
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say  
  
And you can't take back what you've taken away  
  
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me  
  
After this my fairy tale was crushed, it's nothing but just that a fairy tale. A fairy tale that I learned about a long time ago in the arms of the truest princess ever. So if I can't have the fairy tale what can I have. The answer to that is nothing. NOTHING! Not a dream weaved in beautiful colors and certainly not a fairy tale. That's where Spike comes in.  
  
There's only for my soul  
  
And undo this fear  
  
Forgiveness for a man  
  
Who was stronger  
  
I was just a little girl  
  
But I can't look back  
  
He's what you get when you're broken and deserve the pain. Sure Being the Slayer brings pains and reality. But not like Spikes cold harsh touch. Nothing! like Spikes cold harsh touch. His touch keeps me grounded in a sense that never lets me dream or remember that fairy tale from long ago. It reminds me it's not real none of it is real. But the problem is that Spike has been poisoned by this lie of fairy tales and now he wants to infect me. I've already been down that road and been damaged in the process.  
  
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say  
  
And you can't take back what you've taken away  
  
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me  
  
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say  
  
And you can't take back what you've taken away  
  
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me  
  
So what to do next? That's the real question.  
  
Can't go back...  
  
Can't go back...  
  
Can't go back...  
  
Can't go back...  
  
I can't go back...  
  
I can't go back...  
  
I can't go back..  
  
I must go on...  
  
I must go on...  
  
I must go on...  
  
I must go on...  
  
I must go on...  
  
I must go on...  
  
I must go on....  
  
So now I'll sit and fight the good fight. But now It's not for my hopes, dreams, or fairy tales. It's to keep the world, my friends, and my family from seeing the extent to which I've been hurt. I might even say to which I've been damaged.  
  
Okay so what do you think? Tell me please! 


End file.
